Blog 10 rewrite
Cassia and Ky climb the mountain. At the top the emotions of there love are released when they kiss. She falls asleep in his arms at the top of the mountain. Cassia is awoken by a voice saying “they’re over here”. She wakes up with a jolt and Ky wakes up to. They get up and try to fight but they are very outnumbered. Cassia is knocked to the ground after 1 hit from the officials and watches ky get knocked out and dragged away. She then starts to fade away and passes out
She wakes up at home an official has a memory erasing stick from men in black. Right when he flashes it to erase Cassias memory. She blinks right as it goes off and keeps most of her memory of what happened. Her family forgets most of it because they were wiped clean. Cassia finds out Ky is in the military. She then needs to find him and with the help of Xander whose dad is a military enthusiast she gets the things she will need to go in and go unnoticed and find her true love. Little does she know that Xander gave her a false uniform and anyone that is there will realize she is a fake which is impersonating an officer and will be punished by death. If Xander cant have her no one can.
While you technically hit most of the baseline criteria for this assignment, you did only do the bare minimum. You also have some major consistency issues and grammar errors. I think that if you had edited this a little more thoroughly, you would have been better served on your rewrite.
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